Liberation from Darkness

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In the early evening, I felt the poison start to spread through me. Slowly, it spread from my mind to my heart.

It was the sweetest death, slow and irresistible. The poison produced a pain that hurt, but also made me feel alive. It was an alluring demise that called me towards the darkness. 

But then the sweetness turned to dread. The poison had consumed me, and it was no longer a temptuous sensation, but rather an impetuous nightmare that had overtaken me mentally, and physically.

I remembered laying on my bed in the darkness. Praying and crying, my heart breaking within me. The poison had control of me, and I laid in this state of misery for hours - staring into the darkness, hating myself and questioning my reason for existence. 

But as I continued to fight the poison, I heard the words "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you."

So, as I laid there, I called out into the darkness, "Jesus, please don't leave me. Jesus, please don't forsake me." 

I opened up my palm in hope of the slightest touch of reassurance. Hoping I could feel the sensation of His hand grasping mine, letting me know I'm not alone.

But the sensation never came, and after several minutes my hand recoiled back in defeat. 

I laid still, my heart and my mind bare; Numb from the pain, until I felt my mind begin to clear. And then as if prompted by an unknown source of inspiration I cried "In the name of Jesus, I rebuke thee, Darkness, you have no power here! The light has overcome you and you have no power here! I am a child of God! I am child of the King! The same God who created the heavens and the Earth, breathed life into my body!"

And as soon as I finished rebuking the darkness, very much in contrast to the slow emergence and spread of its poison, it vanished suddenly without a trace. Miraculously, I could feel lightness, as if a weight had been lifted off of me. It was as if what held me captive in chains, had relinquished its hold over me. 

This is my testimony, that I was healed of the poison of loneliness sent by the enemy to destroy me. 

And it was this truth that set me free - "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." James 4:8